


I Don't Want to Hear Your Excuses...

by baisexual_unicorn



Category: Original Work
Genre: AO3 Tags - Freeform, Badass, Blood, Blood and Gore, Bodily Fluids, Bonding, Dark, Death, Facebook Group Writing Prompt, Female Charatcers, Fix-It, Gore, Horror, Human, Inspired by..., Misunderstandings, Non-Sexual, One Shot, Original Character(s), Original Characters - Freeform, Original work - Freeform, Reader Insert, Secrets, Short, Slash, Violence, Weather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baisexual_unicorn/pseuds/baisexual_unicorn
Summary: I walked in to a huge mess. I see my roommate. She's bought something from the internet."I don't want to hear your excuses..."
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Weekly Facebook Prompts





	I Don't Want to Hear Your Excuses...

“That was a _nightmare_ ,” came my huffed comment about my trip to the grocery store, my hands heavy with bags as I fumbled around for my house keys. After finding the one I wanted, I made a bold attempt to get them into the lock, a process that wasted an additional five minutes of my time. Eventually, I got the key in and turned it, my mind racing over the ugly man at the store who spat at me because he “didn’t like my hair”, but all of that was immediately forgotten when my eyes gazed upon the wreck that was now my home.

The first thing I noticed was the insurmountable amount of blood covering the walls, ceiling, and floors in the living room. I glanced around and was horrified to find that the splatter continued across to the dining room, where I also saw a large egg sitting on the dinner table. It was free of any blood; not even a drop was seen tarnishing the surface of the ivory egg. Upon scanning back to the living room, a new detail stuck out amongst the red: three torsos on the coffee table, lined up shoulder-to-shoulder. Nowhere did I see the rest of their corpses. No heads, no legs or arms, nothing. A horrible feeling of dread weighed down in the pit of my stomach, not wanting to check the freezer and fridge but knowing that I must. I turned to walk into the kitchen, which was spotless and had an extra occupant that I’d never seen before.

One of them was my roommate, Sheri, and she was washing her hands in the sink. When she heard my footsteps, she turned to face me and her face went a little pale.

“Oh, hey, Schandra! Um, I ordered something in the mail today and thought it would be something cool to have in the house, but as you can see it did not turn out the way I wanted it to.”

This story from the woman I lived with explained the additional being in the house, and although I wasn’t very happy with the state of my apartment, seeing this… thing did calm my nerves.

“So, I’m guessing this is what you got in the mail?” I asked Sheri.

“Sure is,” she replied. “Cute, right?”

“Mhm. I have a follow up question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Is this what destroyed the place?”

Sheri laughed. I didn’t think this was very funny. “Yea, he did it.”

“Oh god, please do not tell me you named it,” I said with a groan.

“I did. His name is Shane.”

I looked again around the kitchen, and then back to the mess behind me in the living and dining rooms.

“I hope you plan to clean this up,” I noted. Sheri nodded and I added, “I hope you don’t expect me to help you.”

My roommate laughed again. “Oh, of course not.”

“Good.” I set the grocery bags on the kitchen floor and began to unload the perishables. There wasn’t a single intention of staying in my head, and after I finished the first half of my chore, I grabbed my keys again in my hand and made for the front door.

“I’m leaving while you do this. I don’t want any part of it. I’m locking the door so no one interrupts. This apartment better be _spotless_ when I come home.”

Sheri gave me a happy nod of her head, smiling and waving me out.

“Oh, and Sheri,” I started before stepping over the threshold of my home back into the outside world.

“Yea, Schandra?”

“I don’t want to hear any more excuses for your poor internet shopping habits. That emu has to go.”


End file.
